cover naive

naive (2001)

    she said

    a night out

    round here

    do not come back


    a day like any other day

    she is dead

    tuesday night blues

    nothing more

    the dark

    about us


music and lyrics by t
all voices and instruments performed by t
mixed by andy horn and t
engineered, recorded and produced by t at black box studios
mastered by andy horn and t
artwork by marco scheiper

thank you to udo, martin, ingo (scythe) and patrick becker for giving me the oportunity to do this, wolfgang schröder for technical support, christoph scholtes for software help, andy horn, marillion & lucy jordache for allowing me to use the brave-sample (which i didn't, eventually, but anyway...), dominik hüttermann for clouds can and sound help, my neighbours for patience, andreas witte for webmastering, a whole bunch of people of progrock-dt for feedback etc., anifan for visualizing the music - extremely special thank you to kathrin, for more patience and support than anyone can imagine.

lyrics (198?-2001)

she said

she said i was mistaken
to think i couldn't fly
too afraid to see
the world beneath my eyes

she said no one would listen
to anything we'd say
she said she didn't care
bout anything down there

surely things must change
surely, i agree
i know things don't come back
i know eventually

but sometimes looking back
sometimes late at night
sometimes in the afterglow
i wonder where'd she go

she said she couldn't be
anything but she
she said she couldn't feel
anything but me

she said deep in her dreams
deeper than all fears
somewhere there was peace

she told me about beauty
she told me about love
she taught me that naivety
was nothing bad at all

she told me bout other people
she told me bout their laughs
sarcasm created nothing
but crippled all she loved

irony was death, she said
slowly going backwards
and nothing else than cowardice
a defence for the weak

honesty meant frailty
sincerity meant pain
her eyes grew so much clearer then
smiling like a falling star
she said she couldn't be
anything but she
she said she couldn't feel
anything but me

she said deep in her dreams
deeper than all fears
somewhere there was peace

i know she wouldn't be
anything but she
i know i cannot be
anything but me

so sure that in her dreams
deeper than her fears
somewhere we'd find peace


a night out

friday night up your nose
for all i know we're too close
you can leave, i don't care
cause i can fly and i won't share

people die, people crawl
i'm the one to kill them all

float among the stars again
all you knew was wrong again
e my thoughts and run the night
sanity not on my side

fell the bullets in your head
feel the venom, feel you're dead
hope and glory down the drain
you will never sleep again

out of money, gone nowhere
out of reality, i don't care
cause i can fly and i won't share
what you are is what you wear

dance away the scars again
all you felt was wrong again
h my thoughts and fuck alright
darker flesh to ease the night


round here

sail away
the years pass you by
and i can't forget your shut eyes

keep me in
and drink up, run dry
this is the mirth of the night

follow me
right through the horizon
where your burnt heart gets some sleep

change the time
where life is worth breathing
and nothing is broken to sighs

but round here...
the rain
round here...
it's all the same

drift away
leaves fall on our hearts
and nobody knows how i grieve

whispers soak
the tears off your grave
never united again

never united again

so round here...
the rain
round here...
it's all the same
round here...
this shame
round here...
it's all the same



red thoughts dripping through my blue
when you told me your isnt
gone, but not with the wind

dead before alive
a face that should have heired your beauty
hands that never feel your warmth
the grey of still seas

your scream too loud to be heard
all advice turns to absurd
we can't understand
we can only feel
november in your soul

summer left you drowned
dust assembling on the prospects
you would call your own
in stuttering amazement we gaze

dry your eyes
while your shivers search the nightmares
the moon hangs upside down
shades like frost-torn trees

your face too hard to be felt
all we say fadedly melts
we can't understand
we can only feel
november in your soul

all too close to be real
nothing else left to feel
we can't understand


she is dead

the stars not bright enough
for what you will
the sun is older now
from overkill
the clouds swim listlessly
to lifeless seas
some distorted face
on the screen

fingers stumbling on the keys
automatic poetry
phrasing phrases
virtual victims of what used to be
part-time dying
the burning urge for nothing special
there's always you
there's always you behing my eyes

i choke on words
choke on laughs
i bleak my skin
to dirt and coughs
i gasp for smoke
h some light
pleading guilty
beg for night

but night's a coat that wears me
inside out
my mouth a grin
that scares me like my own
the clocks all stopped
their ticking never rains into my mind
change me, please
change me

or come back here and breathe my life
and close my eyes in quiet nights
and wipe these stains away from me and start again
and hold my hand
and all i need is what i bleed
and all i see is not for me
the wind still cries, the crows still fly,
the poets lie and i'm too scared to dream

your smile a ghost
a haunting blue in my nights
you'll never know
the way your eyes closed my life

soul in black and white
these hours without you still smell of worn-out photographs
icy dreams repeat the second
the world froze with your cardiograph
circling downwards
charcoal teeth inside my head
sharpened grey
gnawing in my bones
all this talk of getting over

drift into this void
cackling out myself
life goes backwards here
life leaks screams
escaping from escaping
nothing nowhere nevermore
whoever whenever: agreed
stop me going on
stop me, please


tuesday night blues

something in that glass that keeps us breathing
less than nothing bulging through our heads
our hands might shake, but we're hunters in this jungle
of smiling girls to help us through the night

the bar reflects the shadows on our faces
our talk is slow and empty and too quiet
a silent prayer, you will not see our lips move
read the lament dripping from our eyes

and our hearts were lost in a bottle
late last night

driving home too late again tonight
her beside me is like running on empty
like a dream you never quite believed in
like a book you've read too many times

and my heart's lost in a bottle
out of sight, out of mind

and since my heart was lost in a bottle
they stole the light from my eyes

but sometimes i remember years before and all this time that's lost
sometimes i recall and i adore and i regret
sometimes when this headache is not everything i see and feel
sometimes going home is nothing bad

and if your heart was lost in a bottle
you're my friend

cause my heart was lost in a bottle
and my eyes are dayblind since then
and my smile was trapped in that bottle
but you're my friend
whatever they say
you're my friend


nothing more

the red sun blood on the snow
the sky trying to glow
my room covered in ice
me on the floor, me and my life
going down again, running around again
through it all again for there's nothing more

all i see mirrors itself
all i hear is closing my eyes
on the radio no one speaks to me
outside nothing moves
all these tears again drowning myself again
through it all again for there's nothing more

the same endless sky, same endless life
same endless nights and there's nothing more
backwards tonight, somewhere to hide
the demon inside for there's nothing more

mouth shut, teeth fall down
burning stains paint my face
out of time, out of my head
out of anything, nothing to say
all this time wasted for myself
on my bed again, sleep is dead

the same endless sky, same endless life
same endless nights and there's nothing more
backwards tonight, somewhere to hide
the demon inside for there's nothing more
nothing is here, nothing is real
nothing for me, but the same endless fears

maybe i died and you're still alive
nothing makes sense, nothing's intense
nothing is here, nothing is real
nothing for me, the same endless fears
snow in my heart, blood on my hands
it breaks me apart, everything ends
and all this and nothing, all this is drowned
so kiss it goodbye, kiss it goodbye.


about us

from the stardust that we shed
from the summers we remember
from the music of what's dead
take the chalk to paint my face

in the song that does not end
in the eyes that do not focus
in the scars that will not mend
find the things they can't erase

though the grass grows slower now
and my voice is lower now
and the wind smells dark and cold today

the sun on your face
the smiles you embraced
the love that you craved
still breathing

the songs all remain
the laughter unstained
the sun on your face
not sinking

and in all the things we're missing
and in all the time we grieve
and in every hour we're drifting
feel the magic that won't leave

though our room's a shroud
and our bench is burned
and the sky is cloudy now

the summer remains
a spark on my face
our laughter unstained
still ringing

the first times we dared
the silences shared
the wind in your hair
still breathing

our eyes never close
our dreams won't grow old
the same endless road

though they'll never understand
and we're always all alone
under stars and endless void
there's a falling star we own

from the stardust that we shed
from the summers we have left
in the song that never ends
there are scars that will not mend

the sun on your face
the smiles you embraced
the love that you craved
still breathing

the summer remains
like sand in my hands
the fall on my face

the future we dared
the worlds that we shared
our laughter unstained
still ringing

our eyes may have closed
our dreams may grow old
your story is told

and all this is gone
and all has gone wrong
but the last song i sing
is smiling

and all you may laugh
that times will be rough
but the last song i sing
is smiling

rear view mirror.some notes.

01 she said

there are so many conversations in our lives that most of them blur to a sullen murmur in the background of our memories. but sometimes someone manages to disclose a new world. most of the time, they do not tell us anything really new; it's hidden somewhere in the way the say it, the way they speak, the way the words fuse with the situation in which they are spoken. these are the moments that are impossible to forget. what "she said" has been staying with me for since i was about 12; and although one always thinks of oneself as older and wiser and stronger and less naive "now", i personally found out that whenever i catch a glimpse of what i really want to say, it has got to do with these few sentences i was taught back then, however simplistic and naive they might appear.

02 a night out

some of you might know the certain mixture of aggression and resignation when confronted with the incredibly stupid, but also incredibly large mass of people one meets during clubbing. i was vaguely, yet extremely fascinated by the rude instincts that reign the night life, the ever-present despair of those who are still single and remain leftovers at 4.30 am, the strange economics of one night stands, the unnegotiable sadism of face-keeping, the true god of the night... as bono put it: a vampire or a victim, it depends on who's around.

03 round here

a very old tune that has never left me ever since it was written in a hotel room in london in 1992. however much may have changed since then, the situation has basically stayed the same, and after all, the rain is still here... i think the lyrics pretty much speak for themselves, so i'll just leave you here.

i have played it live on several occasions, and it was included on the clouds can demo "moon" in 1995.

04 do not come back

also very old... i still remember the day i put this together: autumn 1994, the inevitable german rain, my first cup of roibosh tea ever. i had just bought a new acoustic guitar and it seemed to have brought this tune with it from the shop: it just "happened" to me. i cannot remember a time now when "do not come back" did not exist as a recurring background soundtrack of rainy afternoons. the title wasn't an option either - it, too, seemed to have come from somewhere outside of me; i just wrote it down.

05 mother

a very close friend of mine had to face two unsuccessful pregnancies; although she never really talked about it, every single mm of her body has ever since been painted by the muffled cries of her loss. however, "mother" is rather about my not being allowed to talk about it than it is really for her. i hate dedications like that; for what could i ever say to ease the pain she must have imprisoned for all these years... and still keeps? suffice it to tell you that i could never stop my mind going back to this afternoon back then when i first heard her story.

06 a day like any other day

there are occasions when a loss is so unspeakably huge, vast, big, great, everlasting that every day you encounter afterwards cannot be of any value, that they all fade into one endless blur of whatever it is that they call "time".

07 she is dead

picture this: late night, the rain on the windows aquarelling the world, no sound in the house, you tried to sleep, but couldn't, back at your desk, staring at the screen, trying to find the exhaustion you lost in order to get some sleep, some dream, some peace... of course, you do not succeed. you are only being exhausted by seeking exhaustion. "she is dead" is the classical piece of the author writing about himself trying to write - about what he doesn't know yet. all he does know is that there is something that needs to be written down lest his mind burst with it. "she is dead" was the starting point of the solo album, the one impulse that showed me that there was something that really needed to scratched open. without it, "naive" and all subsequent albums might as well not exist. it is one of the very few instances of my songs when the lyrics preceded the music.

08 tuesday night blues

if you've ever been in a bar drinking because there is no other option, you know what i am talking about. it seems to me that especially the men in such bars, emergency drinkers, are all one from a certain angle, and that it is mostly the fact that others have to face similar situations that offers the consolation we are all looking for in such places, albeit talisker is always a reason to stay up late.
very few pubs that i've been to are really good at offering this warm homely something. but if you know just one which works for you, there is no other religion you'll ever need.

09 nothing more

friends come and go, on the whole, and that's ok in most of the cases: you grow, they grow, you might grow apart... nothing wrong with it, i have always preferred honesty to loyalty. on the other hand, there are people concerning whom you always hope that they will stay, and who will then thoroughly disappoint you when they let you down. most often, i encounter such situations when a) the person in question is female and b) she has a boyfriend or husband. (i don't know why, but i seem to be the natural enemy of all boyfriends in this world.) when "she" told me that she could not go on seeing me, i already knew that she would be extremely hard to miss. which she still is. however, "she" is not to be confused with the "shes" in other songs on the album...

10 the dark

i woke up after a really bosch-ian nightmare and stumbled to the computer. a sketch of something i do not want to see completed.

11 about us

there are lines in here that go back to the late 80ies. i wrote the refrain in 13/8 before i even knew that 13/8 existed or how to play it (which might have been the reason why none of my early bands could perform it...). today, some parts of the lyrics feel as if my throat were too narrow to let the words float through it, the proverbial lump just would not let me sing them. interestingly, these parts were the oldest, the most naive, the ones i had wanted to change first; but as soon as i had tried to sing the new versions and the older worlds came out, i knew the song would not let me change a single vowel.
"about us" is my way of being brave. the last song i sing is smiling. at least it is trying very hard.